Thursday, July 20, 2006

in which i'm in a state

Originally uploaded by sequin faery.

just finding a lot getting on my nerves lately. why are people so angry and negative all the time? why do they have to impart their anger, bitterness, and what have you onto others? i never thought i'd want to leave the city, i love(d) the city. it's getting more swollen by the day or so it feels) more crowds, more lines, more construction, more horns honking, more people yelling at each other, more congestion, more sewage smell, more violence, more more more.

i lost it on a woman yesterday at work, i don't normally stand up for myself (which is the saddest thing in the world) but i guess she hit my boiling point, pressed that button that was just dying to be pressed. she came to drop off an envelope which i couldn't accept due to the fact that it was addressed to a name that doesn not work here. she was one of those bitter nasty people i mentioned above. she took the tone of what i said in a negative way and commented with "that's all i needed to know, god. for a receptionist you're not very cheerful". now i have to say i BRING the cheer, i smile when in a bad mood, i don't treat people like crap, people ask how i can be so happy all the time (i don't tell them this but it's a mask, i just put on a fake face, easy peazy lemon squeezy). anyways, i remarked back to her about how impolite she was and she wouldn't stop, she was picking a fight. she even slagged me while i was on the phone with a client "oh now she's the nice receptionist". when i got off i looked at her and said "listen, i take enough shit as it is and i don't need it from you too". she mentioned something about me having to get the last word and just before "fuck right off ditch pig" came out i bit my tongue and changed it to "just get on the elevator and get out of my face". not a shining moment for me, not very professional, alas i did not care.

i can't wait to get into our house, into our little village, into the country. now i just have to figure out a way to quit my corporate job and still afford the place. the dream would be to work from home of course, working on art. sigh. life is so damn expensive.