Monday, November 07, 2005



so i came across this picture today and said to myself "if this is the case, if they can really do more boats for amanda". sharks are one of my biggest fears and i'm not sure why. yeah they're scary because they have lots of teeth and all that but my fear keeps me from swimming over the drain in the deep end of swimming pools, just in case. when we were kids i told kate that they were in there, sharks mulling around in pool drains waiting for her to swim over top so they could eat her. it backfired, sure she never swam over them and when jumping/diving/canonballing off the diving board she'd always veer to the extreme right or left, but crap, i started to believe my lie.

on our honeymoon (St. Lucia) we took a catamaran tour for the day. the afternoon consisted of a bit of sorkling off the boat, lounging in the sun on the deck, drinking, whatever. damian decided he was going to try snorkling but i said "no way, there's sharks somewhere in there", so i stayed on board and watched him. somehow, and it is still beyond me how he did it, he convinced me to give it a try. i squeezed into some flippers, pulled a mask over my face and stood on the edge of the boat looking at the crystal blue water beneath me. i could see to the bottom, you'd think that would calm me a bit. i guess it did for a split second because i jumped in. my little legs hung there, suspended in 60 feet of water with god knows what circling around me. i started to panic. damian said "look down, look in the water, don't be scared" which i did. i pushed my face into the salt and saw rock formations under me and other peoples legs. i freaked again. i started to cry and made my way back to the ladder where i discovered it was in use. i had to swim over to the other side of the boat the whole time thinking a shark was going to grab my leg and pull me down. i have never climbed so fast in my life. i got back on, shaking, and poured myself a cup of punch (ingredients: 3 teaspoons of tropical fruit juice, 4 cups of rum).

my imagination gets the best of me, way to vivid. it's a good thing most of the time but when encountering vast bodies of water, narrow alley ways at night, sharp objects, spiders, onions, abandoned buildings, math textbooks, heights, rickety elevators that smell moldy, and the like......i think the most dreadful things. i convince myself of the worst possible situation and imagine it as the casue of my demise.

i do like boats though, they're kind of nice to relax on. so if anyone can confirm the jumping shark thing, i'd be eternally grateful.