Wednesday, July 27, 2005

the loving night

we never made it to african lion safari today, kevin had family things to do. oh well, another time.

right now i'm relaxing, listening to some downtempo, and enjoying the smell of the Kyphi incense i bought at the wicca shoppe (good for developing the more visual aspects of the psychic. enlightens the night. dreams, meditation, astral projection). speaking of astral projection, do you need a passport for that sort of thing? i'm pretty sure mine is good until october but what if it's not? what if i astral project tonight and i'm not let into the spiritual plain because i've let my passport expire?

i really have to recommend the incense from the wicca shoppe, it's so delicious. i bought 3 kinds and all of them are beautiful. i have the kyphi ("the loving night"), jasmine ("hearts fortune".....jasmine is one of my favourite scents), and pagan party (for sexiness, passion).

i feel a more spiritual side of me trying to push its way out. i don't know why it has to push its way out, i should just let it happen. after a very long period of heavy emotions (which has still not ended but seems to have become the norm for me) i'm taking time for myself, exploring myself. so much has changed in me since the timeline which is approaching a year now. it's a very strange feeling to realize a change, changing who you've always been is not an easy thing to do. the pain and hurt were and are not a pleasant thing by any means but they have definitely helped me to grow....and i don't think i'm done.

right now i would love to be lying in/on A) an open field B) the deck of a sailboat looking up at the stars. complete silence.

Monday, July 25, 2005

thank you kelsey*

imagine the serenity of a cool crystal blue pool, tiny ripples sliding along the surface with each gentle breeze. a lush oasis of trees and flowers surrounding you, the sounds of birds and cicadas in the trees. the heat is intense and beads of sweat slowly glide down your body tickling your skin and leaving a glow.

imagine yourself walking into that pool, each inch refreshes you more and more. the beads of sweat halt and drops of water take their place. you lie back and relax, you allow the water to hold you up. you close your eyes and lazily float to the sounds of nature.

now imagine a dog walking towards the back fence and laying the biggest turd you could imagine. the intense heat cooks it as it lies in the grass and those gentle breezes carry the poo smell over to your nose. you can't escape it, there's no where to go. the dog has gone inside because it can no longer handle the heat and you are stuck with the stench of cooking shit.

* my parents golden lab

the false safari

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seriously, how did that dog get up there? i mean it's a bassett hound for crying out loud, they aren't exactly nimble. sort of funny to see that guy up there in a spot that would normally be reserved for a cat.

yesterday i got my nose pierced again. i had it done a couple years ago (kate and i went, she got her belly button done) but my mom kind of flipped when she saw me with a spike in my face (it was the only stud they had left, i wanted a ball but whatever). this time i warned her before hand and she took the site of it a lot better. once the initial 8 weeks are up the ball is coming out and a wee diamond (or fake diamond rather, something sparkly) will take it's place. yes it hurt but it was a quick ouch.

tomorrow i have a date with kevin (kate's luvah) to go to african lion safari. i've never been and i figure it's the closest i'll be getting to africa (a dream destination) any time soon. i really hope i can get out and frolic with the animals but i doubt it, i don't think the rangers, or whatever they are, are going to risk me getting eaten by lions.....bummer. i guess i'll just have to enjoy watching monkeys whack off on the hood of the car.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

eating twinkies to Bolero

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i had the most fantabulous, spectaculous, marvelicious day of theater on saturday. i laughed so much i won't need to do situps for a month.

the first show was with starr to see 'The Making of Jurassic Park: The Musical' which is a part of the Fringe Fest. it's put on by the hilarious boys of Electric Boogaloo and if you are in toronto and do not want a serious elbow breaking from me....you WILL go see it! * read a review here*

the second show was Blue Man Group and i had SO much fun with kate & kevin at this one. first off we were offered a drink while we sat there waiting for the show to start (of course we agreed to have one). second off a guy came buy handing out crepe paper saying "blue man headband?"......everyone in the audience had these pieces of paper tied to their heads, it was hilarious. the first 4 or 5 rows had ponchos on the seats for us to wear (we were in the third row) just in case anything flew off the stage and messed us up. so it was extra funny to see a bunch on people wearing ponchos, drinking beer, with paper tied to their heads in a theater setting.

with a "you guys want more paper?" and my response of "yeah we want more paper", we ended up getting the rest of the 6 or so rolls of it dumped on us. kate wanted puffy sleeves on her poncho so we took some streamers and fashioned a beautiful set (it really was to die for, eat your heart out Dolce & Gabbana). i sat through the show with the rest of streamers on my ponchoed lap.

so, the show began and i was already having a blast with my plastic cup of wine between my knees as i applauded and yelled and did whatever the hell else we were told to do. then one of the "men" jumped off the stage and started climbing over the seats. he got to our row and put one hand on my head and the other on kate's, then stood with one foot on kate's shoulder for quite some time. he then moved on. i thought i was going to pee laughing. it was gorgeously surreal, the whole show. by the time it was over the theater was trashed, covered with crepe paper streamers. i asked the girl beside me "how do we get out of here now?" to which she answered "dig". i had to tear through it to get out of my seat, it was piled so high. the people in the back of the theater kept passing it up and eventually the row in front of us stopped accepting it. i lost kate at one point and she was right beside me for crying out loud, i couldn't see her, the paper had consumed my little sister.

i want to go again.

Monday, July 04, 2005

take me away

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photo i took in st. lucia

sometimes i get hit with something, i haven't been hit in a while, but i'm being hit right now. i'm never sure what brings it on but once it's here it tends to stay a while. that something is wanderlust.

i want to go somewhere, i want the money to go somewhere. the destination changes every time. of course there are places i always want to go but some of those places stand out more than others during these periods of wanderlust. usually i'm fantasizing about strolling throught the streets of italy in a flowy dress and designer sunglasses or kissing a cute boy after a few glasses of red wine and expensive cheese on baguettes under a streetlamp on a bridge over the river seine as big fluffy snowflakes fall (a total cliche paris image, forgive me for i am a romantic and can not be helped). currently my visions and fantasies are set on africa. this is a place i must see before i die. i'm not sure why i'm drawn there and hell, i'm not even afraid of the needles i have to get before i go (i used to be, needles and myself don't go to well together....i hate the damn things).

i want to bring my camera on a safari, i want to feel the heat of the mid afternoon sun burn through my clothes, i want to learn about a rich and beautiful culture by being there, not by reading about it. i want to write journal entries with words like "this morning when the zebra....." i want to put my feet on a ground many miles away.

below: some photos of my travels;

central park

st. lucia

mexico

pigeon island, st. lucia

well shit, i don't have as many travel photos on my computer as i thought. i really regret no being into photography when i spent 4 weeks in england and france, i would have some pretty sweet ass photos that's for sure. i went to places that were so beautiful they brought tears to my eyes.