Thursday, November 18, 2004


i'm still going through the rough patch, who knows when it will end. i'm trying to keep a positive outlook and everyone around me is amazing with all of the support they're giving me. i'm so lucky to have the people I have in my life.

so, posts may be few but i thought it could feel good to write. i'll start with my cosmetic surgery. that's right, tomorrow after work i'll be having a little something something done to alter my body image. i had the urge to go for it early in the week (although have had thoughts of doing it for quite some time now), made the call, and BAM, an appointment was made. i thought for sure i'd be on a waiting list or something but no, i probably could have had the appointment the day after I called if i wanted. i thought i might want a few days to prepare for the ouch factor and opted for friday.

what am i having done? boobs? botox? nope, tattoo removal! i'm actually not afraid at all, i'm not worried about the pain, i just want it off. my tattoo is so tiny, i joked to my dad that the doctor will take one look at it and say "shit, i've got an eraser on the end of my pencil that'll get that off". it's not that i don't like my little tattoo i just don't like where it is, on my chest. there's all these sexy little dresses and shirts that are low cut that i've seen but i never even try them on because of the tat. i feel like it's time, it's had its 8 or 9 years on my body but now it has to move on.

the procedure is done with lasers and shouldn't damage the skin around the tattoo. even if it does leave a scar it won't be huge (unless they fuck up and char me) and it'll make me look mean and tough. i read that it feels like being snapped by a bunch of rubber bands, which we all know is never a treat, but i think i can handle it. i think it's only going to be 3-5 minutes of laser torture and that's nothing, i've got cramps and they last much longer! i have to keep it "dressed" for 3 days and then, as the woman on the phone said, "it will begin to blanch". how nasty does that sound? my right boob, or just above it anyway, is going to blanch? *shudder*