Friday, July 23, 2004

Dr. Dave

i think i'm ready to write about it, of course i just started to cry while typing this.  i have to give it a go, i think it might help.

today was the funeral for my parents friend who was murdered last week. that word "murdered" is so hard, i've never known anyone to die tragically before.  there are so many feelings fluttering around in my stomach.  i can't stop thinking about it.  i go between two major feelings, sadness and anger.  i hate seeing my parents so upset, my dad is taking it harder than he's showing, i can feel that, we all can.

this was my third funeral since december and it was the toughest one.  damian's nana died after a long illness, then my great uncle passed away after an illness, but Dr. Dave was so young and healthy. 

this is harder than i thought it would be to write.

there were a lot of memories being shared today between my parents and their friends.  kate remembered my mom always french braiding his hair during those party weekends they'd have at the cottage.  my mom got teary eyed and laughed "that's right, he'd always come over to me saying "wanna french me Christie?".  he'd have this tiny little french braid in the back of his hair all day".  my mom also told us that he would always be standing up for kate and i during those cottage weekends.  since we were kids and couldn't hang in there as long as the adults we'd be in bed while they still partied into the wee hours.  Dr. Dave would always be saying "hey, the girls are sleeping, let's try to keep it down a little for them".  one weekend, before he was married, he brought a girlfriend up.  my mom was telling us that in the morning, the late morning, one of us ran into the cottage from outside all excited yelling "someone caught a fish, someone caught a fish" to which his girlfriend said "shhhh, people are trying to sleep you know".  apparently Dr. Dave didn't like this comment and said "you mean like they were trying to do while we were being idiots last night?"  he didn't see much of her after that.

i will always remember those cottage weekends, they were a huge part of our childhood.  i will always remember secretly hoping Dr. Dave would be there any time we went.  you get crushes when you're a kid right?  well i had one on Dr. Dave but i can't imagine any girl who met him didn't.   i know my mom did and she was married.

a few years ago when damian and i were first going out we went up to the cottage for the day.  of course i had that same hope that he'd be there, he was just one of those people you liked to be around and  i hadn't seen him in a long time.  he was there.  damian had to be "initiated" by the guys so they tied the tube up to the back of the boat (my dad was nice enough to share the "ride" with him).  they raced across that lake dragging damian and my dad behind at such a speed, my dad went flying but damian hung on, he arrived back at the shore just as he left it.....on the tube.  it was considered okay that he was dating me after that and he was given a beer.

it feels good to think about all of this but every so often it triggers tears.  it's sad that his three boys will grow up without their dad, it's sad that his wife will never wake up beside him again, it's sad to watch my mom cry after she remembers all of the dances she danced with him and the fireside talks they had all curled up by the bonfire, it's sad to see my dad wiping away the tears i've never seen him shed before, it's sad that someone so kind and giving was taken away by such a senseless and cruel act of violence, it's sad that he'll never be there again.